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Day 5. Long day. Good day. Been concentrated more on how to teach and what to teach. Starting with my project tomorrow. Everyday trying to come up with new ideas to potentially benefit the refugee families. SB Overseas is doing such an amazing job. Everyone I’m working with is so kind and great.. what else to expect from such selfless people. 

I feel happy with what I’m doing, though once I get home when so exhausted i do feel a need for a hug.

Day 7. 1 week of being in Lebanon. We had a day off today as it’s a holiday. Spent the day discovering Beirut which is gorgeous. It’s crazy seeing all this wealth here, people wearing full Chanel etc while next to them is such poverty. 

Had dinner at our presidents house which was very nice. Got to bond more with some of the people who work in the organization. One of a kind humans. They have signed up for not having a day off or any rest whatsoever to improve the lives of others. They work relentlessly.  I get it. Once you really get to know the people and see the conditions, nothing else can be remotely as important and fulfilling than bettering the lives of the people who have lost all. I admire the people working for SB Overseas wholeheartedly. Also the organization is only taking 7% of the investments/donations for management costs while other NGO’s take about 60%-80%. Can easily imagine that after my two months here, spending a month in Barcelona and maybe some time in Estonia, enjoying all the warm showers, electricity and never ending internet, i could come back here. 

Day 8 

Had first aid course today. Did you know in Syria they put coffee on bloody wounds.. don’t do that! :D 
Stories I heard last night of the camps, the families, the struggles, the abuse, the terror, keep haunting me, filling me with sorrow and anger. It has made me ill. I try to accept what is right now and each time it comes in my mind, I think of my own upbringing to have more hopeful thoughts that in 30 years there will be biographies of these famous/successful/happy people who were refugee kids from Syria when growing up. Though the conditions were different for me when growing up, I still do see myself in many of the . They are shy, quiet yet looking into their eyes is like reading a book. They might not know yet but through all the hardships, they’ve gained so many powers. I hope I’ll be able to give them at least a glimpse of it. 

I bought a ton of materials for my project today. Can’t wait to see what comes out of it. 

I am working hard to put every skill I have into use, each limb,finger, toe. I wish you would see what I see, feel what I feel, so you would do your best to help the ones who have lost all to get back on their feet. I wish you would  appreciate the luxuries you have and be grateful and humbled. I wish you would love without judgement, expectations. I wish that fear wouldn’t overcome kindness. I don’t know how I can step back to your world.. I mean you gotta lure me in with my grandmas food. Ohh my grandmas food.. I miss my family.

Please, please, please I am thankful for any donation no matter the size of the amount. My respect and love for each one of you who has donated. I know who you are! 

Day 3? Feels like day 200.. i mean, its exhausting. But its good. I’ll sleep when I’m back in Barcelona.

This morning we went to Saida  as we had a football player from Barcelona visiting with 2 couches. The kids here love football, they know all the football songs and we dance waka waka a lot. It is amazing to see the children laugh and happy while the reality is that there’s about 1500 people living in a six floor building, one bathroom on each floor. I haven’t gone in yet which I will eventually do. Volunteers who have been inside told it’s something that’s necessary to see but you can’t unsee it.

At one point when we were having lunch with Ana by the Saida center, some kids started playing with a dead pigeon, throwing it over us and such… while some other boys tried to break into SB Overseas car as they knew there’s footballs there. A bit back story to that - they didn’t have balls before, hence throwing a dead pigeon around, so Ana managed to collect 200$ and bought 200 balls from the dollar store!!!!!!! 

The kids are so loving and playful.

Later that day we did our weekly groceries with my flatmates, like a little family trying to figure out foods that all of us (belgian,australian,american,Irish and estonian) would like.  Afterwards had a sweet family dinner. Though where we are is no joke, we have a lot of fun here. The jokes  are often something that can’t be explained to people who are not here, like “was it fireworks or is there a shooting aka should we sit at the hallway or all good” and then we laugh and laugh and laugh (hear the crazy, sarcastic laugh here)… or looking outside the window, truly a million dollar view at night time (mountains,lights) and seeing how electricity goes off in blocks after blocks. Ohhh all the laughs. The shootings aren’t always gang related, sometimes it’s a warning shot, sometimes there’s weddings or other celebrations etc.

We spent the night preparing for school tomorrow, gonna have our first day of teaching. It’s now 1am when everyone’s going to bed, we’ve been up since 7, waking up at 7. But we know why we’re here, we know how important it is to teach the kids and give our best so the comfort is quite the last thing to think of. It’s beautiful to sit together with a room full of people to purposefully and selflessly, though we’re exhausted, work to make sure we can give our best to the kids.  The manager from Saida for instance is gonna pull an all nighter as he’s driving old volunteers to the airport all night. He really has a big heart, works hard, very dedicated to what he does. An outstanding man! Same goes to our manager in Beirut. Such sweet, kindhearted people.

Though the life here might sound crazy/scary whatever I feel very comfortable being here, my soul is at peace, I’m surrounded with likeminded people, who care and love  and don’t care of their own discomfort of the lifestyle here. 

I do hope that when you’re reading this, you take a moment to appreciate what you have. Tell the people in your life that you love them, smile to a stranger, give a euro to a homeless man on the street, evaluate your priorities in life as what is important to be or get angry at and what is not. Be kind. And see the refugees as people like you and me.

Day 4. 

It was the first day I was teaching. My classes have girls from ages 13-20 + two groups of women classes + some private lessons. The classes have very mixed levels. Some girls understand quite a bit, some don’t even know how to write their names in English which made the first class rather difficult. The second class I nailed though!!! It felt so good to see I was useful and the girls actually learned something! My teachers and schoolmates from back home, if you’re reading this, know that I’m also surprised of the path my life has taken - sitting in the teachers room, preparing English classes with blocks of books beside me. 

We also planned out how we will be doing my project here and turns out I’m going to be working with about 60girls which is very exciting!! 

Day and night trying to figure out ways to make the lives better. 

Again, it is very exhausting but it’s so so worth it and we don’t even think of the tiredness knowing the importance of the job we gotta do. 

I’ve also noticed that with this short time that feels like forever we have adapted with the lifestyle here well. Apt smells a bit gassy? Okay. Water leaking from somewhere? Lol. Sitting out the gunshots in the hallway? Cool, but wait, my tea and biscuits are in the kitchen!!! 

The people we work with and all the volunteers I’m living with are so lovely. We have a lot of laughs together and it’s very simple and comfortable. 

I am still collecting donations that we desperately need, put the 10eur somewhere where it could truly matter

The beginning

I haven’t had any time to be active online but have been writing down my days every evening so will start posting them. 

It’s 2am, I’ve been in Lebanon for 2-3h. Call time at 8am. im trying to fall asleep in this cold room that I found a bed in, sharing it with two strangers who were already asleep when I got here. The feelings and thoughts keep me awake. I’m excited for tomorrow, while at the same time questioning everything- why do I think my project will go through? What am I doing here? Why did I decide to come here? Why do I think I’m capable of making life better for these people?….I naively thought I know people but the truth is I don’t know anything about their culture, I don’t know what their journey has really been like etc. I’m used to having no answers and going with the flow yet now not knowing what tomorrow brings makes me uneasy. Im in a land I’ve never been before. I’m about to experience life as I’ve never known it. How has anyone ever been able to judge the life of refugees?! I’m someone who has kept herself, she thought, well informed of the situation, yet now that I have to close my eyes in order to face tomorrow to get answers, I understand how little we really know even if we spent hours everyday watching a screen for news. I also understand why so many with a comfortable and safe life haven’t cared for the war victims, haven’t shown compassion. We really have no idea until we experience it. And it’s easier for most to avoid the thought even. I’ll close my eyes now.

My first day spent in lebanon. I met bunch of strangers all around, who are not really strangers, I met the people running the center, we walked around our neighborhood which is a project area, there was roosters, sheep, wires everywhere, women carrying their babies, men fixing cars, smoking hookah. We were getting to know the center in Beirut and in Saida. 

The people.. I experience love in my soul that I haven’t experienced yet. I am no longer feeling uneasy rather thinking why there’s so few of us trying to help these people, why even my own people haven’t given shit about this. I try really hard not to blame and to understand that you don’t have a clue but I do wonder how we spend 400€ or just 40€ on a bag and not think for a second.. I’m just trying to paint you a picture. 

The kids I met today, they are full of so much love, their smiles make my existence worth it. 

Ask them to draw a home and they draw guns that are bloody, burning houses with their families inside. I was shown a picture by a 6 year old who drew an eye that was red like blood and underneath was written in Arabic ” would you want to feel what I feel”. The way these little innocent children of the universe draw guns.. I can’t even picture one so clearly. Ohh these precious angels.. we were dancing, we were singing, they are all so happy to see their teachers, we barely understand one another by speech but I’ve never felt this love.. they are so curious, excited, they play like I grew up playing - finding sticks in mud, playing chefs with bricks, grass and pieces of glass. At one point I had about 30kids around me asking for my name, telling me theirs, teaching me numbers in Arabic, dancing with me. 

I also met this Syrian lady, she is like Syrian Frida Kahlo, her art work that she paints is breathtaking and hurts my heart as I can translate her world from these. Her sisters are spread around the world, she lost her brothers in a fire, her dad is still in Aleppo. I love her personality, the way she speaks, the courage she has and how much she is working on bettering the life for the ones around her and herself. I shortly started understanding everyone I’m surrounded by have lost so much but as a team, as a family, they are helping each other day and night. Perhaps put it in your language- it’s like you’re freaking out about your boyfriend cause you don’t dare to talk to him and then you meet up with your girlfriends and as a team you analyze and analyze and analyze. Just that their problems are real and you made one up cause you lack of courage, self worth and all other problems you created in your head. Again, I try hard not to feel bitterness towards our regular problems. And I try to understand that the way a lot of you speak of these people is that you’re not well informed blabla but i hate it and you should feel shame. 

Anyway, the night ended with the whole team having dinner and drinks. I have Ana here. It’s very exhausting but I love every moment of it. 

Day 2. I spent half of my day with Feda, she’s this awesome woman who’s teaching arts to the youth here in Beirut so I also met some of the girls I’ll be teaching. We tried out just introducing a bit of my project to get the feel, I took two dresses with me and they L.O.V.E.D. them, tried them on, took selfies (they love selfies), gave a little fashion show, if I could I would share some images with you but it’s not allowed so you gotta wait for my final project images. The second they saw my camera, some of the girls wanted sooo many pictures to be taken of them, many wanted to try out the camera themselves, but there was also girls who even if the camera wasn’t on but lens pointed somewhat towards them didn’t like it at all and didn’t allow any photos to be taken. I am still trying to understand more of their cultures, backgrounds, upbringings. Besides the photo project I will be teaching English to the teenagers and women.. first thought when going through material was “daaaamn I gotta learn English” and got a bit scared for a moment thinking if I’m really the right person for this. I know it’s just something out of my comfort zone and once I start, once I get to know my students, I’ll know more. My classes have girls from different levels, some don’t even know how to write in Arabic not mentioning English as they can’t go to school here and have missed out a whole lot.  I was also told to notice any marks that indicate violence on the girls.. they are so young, so sweet, I wish this wouldn’t be the reality but many of them are abused. 

We follow some rules here for example if we hear gunshots, we have to sit them out in the hallway that has no windows. You have to understand this area is the camp built by Palestinian refugees who came here 40 years ago. The Syrian refugees got here 4 years ago. Inside the camp there is gang wars happening. Today apparently people were killed as well. It’s not on the streets but more inside the neighborhood so we basically hide just in case warning shots are shot to the air as maaaaaaybee something would fall inside from the window or sth. To understand more of the area I’m living google Shatila camp, I’m basically a few blocks from there. 

The electricity here goes out everyday a few times.

The days are very long. I feel like I’ve been here for 2months instead of 2days. By the end of the day I felt like I’m already understanding stuff, the fellow volunteers are great, i don’t feel alone. We had a date night with Ana.. the food here is so so good and everything is so so cheap. 

Besides my project, I will be teaching english to 4 groups of teenage girls, 2 groups of women and a few private lessons. 

It’s been a good day. I love every moment I’m here. 

If you want to contribute for art supplies for the kids, go to

And any help, donation straight to the organization is highly appreciated They are doing such a great job, everyone is working very hard day and night. They have the kindest and biggest hearts I’ve met. 

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